R-15 08: Light and Fluffy Fukune-chan Time

Secrets of Fukune-chan #17: There’s a warning label on the back of her neck that reads,
“The Surgeon General has determined that continued exposure to high levels of cuteness is hazardous to your health.”

“Previous victims who suffered overexposure experienced suffered elevated blood pressure, shortness of breath, heart palpitations, and said that it was worth it.”

Let’s get the other girls out of the way. By “other girls” I mean Utae-chan.

I do feel terribly sorry for her. Before I watched the whole episode I was hoping that she would be the one having the dayto with Taketo.

And even before that, I was already pitying her for getting cock-blocked by Ritsu.

Who, by the way, is the R-15 equivalent of CLANNAD’s Sunohara. I don’t even know why Sunohara has a fandom. But suffice to say Taketo agreeding to go out with Ritsu is complete, sheer, utter, lunacy. It’s like Okazaki going out with Sunohara. Or Nagisa.

I still haven’t gotten over the fact that Kotomi or Kyou weren’t the true ends.

While Ran gets intercepted by her own imouto harem.

Sure, Fukune-chan may be the prize Tuna, but there’s nothing wrong in savouring the sweet flesh of the twin Salmon who are practically begging to be devoured.

And a slight cameo by Kurabu Katsuyo, who is desperate to prove that she actually has something of a future career apart from the AV scene.

Now we can move on to the star of the episode.

Fukune-chan is just too cute.

This is another 2D>3D moment. You simply can’t produce a girl like Fukune-chan in real life who’d be this sweet and innocent and naive.

No girl in real life would attempt to get cream off her nose by trying to lick it. Even children would be mashing their pudgy fingers across their scrummy faces in dubious attempts at maintaining self-hygiene.

Again, no girl in real life would press her face up against the glass of the UFO Catcher. I suppose children might do it, except that instead of “press face against glass” it would be more along the lines of “smash head against glass, start crying, parents dole out cash for ice cream and regret bringing the kids to the arcade”.

The only real girl who would do either of the aforementioned actions would be a girl who’s faking it.

And Fukune-chan is certainly not faking it.

Okay so a little bit more focus on Utae-chan.

Terrible stakeout skills. No offence, but there’s a reason why she’s a Genius Idol and not a Genius Private Investigator.

Still, you can see the pain in those eyes.

I don’t think a harem show has ever made me feel this sympathetic for any of the romantic interests.

Back to Fukune-chan.

Another first for me – feeling embarrassed for trying to visualize the bra Fukune’s wearing.

I certainly didn’t expect myself to be developing a moral compass from watching a fanservice harem comedy.

This needs to be made a reality. I know there are Love Hotel rooms specially furnished with revolving beds and stripper poles and swimming pools filled with chobolate (maybe not for that last one) but there needs to be a Love Hotel room just like this.

Imagine, after a hot sweaty session of passion with your lover – you roll over onto your back, your lover snuggling against you – you open your eyes and make eye contact with a larger than life portrait of the great Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.

I’m pretty sure Fukune-chan’s just wondering how anyone (read: musicians) could possibly go to sleep with a large sketch of Mozart exhorting them to delve into the musical arts.

Bless you, my sweet innocent naive Fukune-chan.

Will I be able to look at Fukune-chan in the same way after the BluRays are released?

Will I be able to look upon this paragon of sweetness, innocence and naivete and not immediately think of impure thoughts?

Only the third greatest bath-towel-wrapped-around-a-girl scene after the Morishima Haruka and Nanasaki Ai arcs in Amagami SS.

It may have just moved up into second place. Morishima-senpai, as fabulous as you are, you didn’t drop the towel.

Now if Fukune-chan and Taketo start making intimate gestures while a herd of deer spy on them this might cause an upset.

And to think that at the beginning of this series I found her pink hair to be extremely off-putting.

I never did understand the appeal of watching porn with your significant other. Apparently it’s something people enjoy.

First off the bat, you’re likely to be made to feel insecure, as the assets onscreen probably surpass the assets offscreen. Then if you’re aroused by it the guilty recriminations begin on your inability to be faithful to your partner. And finally there’s no way you can perform the same feats shown onscreen unless you’re deliberately trying to not enjoy yourself.

Clearly, this is no form of entertainment. It’s torture, pure and simple.

“When I first saw it, I was like, ‘Will this go in?’ But when he put it in, it felt great…”

How I wish I could find that perfect girlfriend who could read my erotic scribbles and not judge me for them. And read them aloud, but that’s probably asking too much.

I’m insanely jealous of those erotic fiction writers who acknowledge their significant others for giving them ideas, or testing out said ideas, so on and so forth.

N-Not that I read or write erotic fiction in the first place! It’s just something I read about on forums. Forums that have absolutely nothing to do with erotic literature （　´_ゝ`）

Back to the other girls. Perhaps Ran is finally realizing the truth of the phrase “too much of a good thing”. But I’ll have to conduct such an experiment for myself just to be sure. For science.

While Utae is steadfastly waiting in the rain. This cannot possibly end well.

As if Fukune-chan wasn’t cute enough, they had to add in her history about trying to live up to the legacy of her great musician father.

It’ll work for Utae, but Katsuyo trying to live up to the legacy of her great cheerleader manager father? Not quite.

I loved how Raika and Tsukuru mercilessly tore apart the overdramatic, cheesy dialogue of the drama they were watching. The exact same dialogue that Taketo was spouting. You go girls – expose that talentless hack for what he actually is.

But all things considered, I wouldn’t actually like a girl like Fukune-chan in real life. I’d prefer Raika or Tsukuru. It was just all the sweeter that the two of them were together.

And I don’t think I’ve mentioned it before, but Tsukuru looks delicious out of her lab coat. Oh dear. I’d better go back to Fukune-chan before I get completely sidetracked.

Just hug her Taketo. You spineless wimp.

I’m obviously venting on Taketo at how lucky he is.

This is pretty much why I can’t stand harem anime.

But still, the smile on Fukune-chan’s face makes it all bearable once again.

Now if Raika and Tsukuru were to have their dayto in the spotlight I would be more than satisfied. Trifecta!

Ran’s dropkick is worthy of Aragaki Ayase.

Maybe if OreImo had more comedic sociopathy from Lovely My Angel Ayase-tan, the eyes of of the audience might have been a little less critical of Kirino. Maybe.

Not too far away, poor Utae watches from concealment.

If this was any other anime, I’d have expected the Yandere flag to have been tripped. Although I’m not too sure about this. I hope Utae finds someone soon, because the thought of her going ax-crazy and stabbing Fukune-chan is intolerable.

Even further away, BDSM Queen whats-her-name is enjoying the theatrics.

I think her character should have been more of an Ojou. R-15 sorely needs an Ojou character with “Desu Wa”s and haughty “Ufufufu”s.

I’m trying to imagine that Fukune’s not straddling her clarinet.

Fukune-chan’s a sweet innocent naive girl with nothing to hide.
Fukune-chan’s a sweet innocent naive girl with nothing to hide.