Sekai-Ichi S2 10: Yokozawa Takafumi’s desperate last stand

When the chips are down, and you're about to lose your last 'good ending' flag, what do you do?

You put on your best stone face, keep calm and carry on, that’s what.

Because that’s how Yokozawa rolls.

Point out Ritsu's inadequacies in front of Masamune.

Ritsu being a dumbass and trying to squander company funds? Since Masamune would have picked on Ritsu anyway, this one’s a free pass.

Yokozawa 1, Ritsu 0.

Ensure that Ritsu gets caught in the elevator with you and Masamune.

Past events have shown that Ritsu always does something stupid whenever he’s in a confrontational scenario with similar circumstances.

Granted, Masamune tends to overlook Ritsu’s errors after the first reprimand, but as Einstein once said, “Only two things are infinite, the universe and Ritsu’s stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.”

Yes, Einstein was totally a Sekai-Ichi fanboy. How’d you think he came up with e=mc^2?

Eroticism = Masamune × (Sex at the speed of light)^2

Yokozawa 1.5, Ritsu 0.

Watch Masamune like a hawk. A hawk with night vision goggles and access to a network of Keyhole-class satellites.

I’m pretty sure I’ve read that “hawk with night vision goggles” simile somewhere. It might have been at Cracked.

But regardless! Nothing quite says love like 24/7 surveillance! Nobody would have to care or waste effort on ‘trust’ and ‘faith’ and spend sleepless hours of the night wondering if your significant other is cheating on you when you’re monitoring their actions all the time!

Yokozawa 2.5, Ritsu 0.

Wait, what? That’s some creepy shit.

Yokozawa 0.5, Ritsu 0. Seriously dude, no one ever won a girl by spying on her laundry.

Yokozawa is a budding Yandere, so the point stands!

Anticipate and adapt to unexpected occurrences.

Let’s face it. The moment Masamune took Ritsu’s bag, we knew this awkward skin-on-skin moment was going to happen.

So why wouldn’t Yokozawa have seen that too?

Respond similarly, and escalate.

If Ritsu starts carrying semi-automatics, Yokozawa will buy automatics. If Ritsu starts wearing Kevlar, Yokozawa will equip armour-piercing rounds.

And if Ritsu manages to slide his palm across Masamune’s, Yokozawa will check Masamune’s temperature, then stay over at his place to “take care of him” and have wild homosexual activity all night long. It’s not rape if Masamune’s in a feverish semi-conscious delirious state!

Yokozawa 3.5, Ritsu 0.

Savour the look of defeat and betrayal in Ritsu's eyes.

Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate predictably tsundere response, which leads to suffering.

But that’ll take time. Sow the seeds of sabotage and reap the fruit of weakened foundations!

Yokozawa 3.5 (+1), Ritsu 0.

Let Masamune and Ritsu spend some time together.

The more time Masamune spends with Ritsu, the sooner he’ll realize that Ritsu is a complete joke who doesn’t deserve his attention.

Also, make sure to interrupt before they actually start having sex in public.

Because Masamune, as awesome as he is, thinks with his reproductive organs, just like the rest of us.

As an added bonus the shame of being caught helps to confer a negative impression on their relationship. It won’t work on Masamune, but Ritsu is always oh-so vulnerable.

Yokozawa 4.5 (+1), Ritsu 0.

Stand guard at the entrance to your beloved's home.

“An hour of wolves and shattered shields when the Age of Men comes crashing down, but it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good earth, I bid you stand, Men of the West!” – Aragorn II, son of Arathorn II and Gilraen, King Elessar Telcontar, 16th Chieftain of the Dúnedain of the North

It is a well guarded secret that Aragorn was actually another raging Yaoi fanboy, and often used sentences that alluded to his support of Yaoi, which was cruelly repressed in Middle-Earth.

“I bid you stand, Men of the West!“? Rumour has it that this line was first uttered at a secret gay orgy held deep within the bowels of Minas Tirith, and was re-appropriated for the Battle of the Black Gate.

Anyway the point I was trying to make is that Yokozawa is like the steward of Gondor Masamune. Or something.

Yokozawa 5.5 (+1), Ritsu 0.

Stare forbiddingly at all trespassers.

Except for cats, because cats are cute.

(Also I can’t remember the name of the cat that Masamune/Yokozawa took in.)

Anticipate and prepare for the final confrontation.

Oh, and rile up Ritsu’s tsundere tendencies, because Masamune is bound to come to the door sooner or later, and it’s best if Ritsu’s spouting more of his anti-Masamune nonsense.

Yokozawa, your love is true; and Ritsu has always been nothing more than a vile temptress! The anti-Masamune rhetoric proves it! Your good end is at hand!

Yokozawa 5.5 (+2), Ritsu 0.

Success!

With a final score of Yokozawa 5.5 (+2), Ritsu 0, adjusted to Yokozawa 7.5, Ritsu 0, it is a crushing victory.

Yokozawa can now rest easy, knowing that true love and determination once again triumphs over all.

Next Episode:

… except that Yokozawa was fated to lose, even before he ever entered the fray. The preview isn’t subtle about it either.

Romantic moment, romantic moment…

... gloom.

And we repeat it again, because apparently false hopes weren’t already smashed enough.

Symbolic matching camera angles…

... GLOOM.

I am actually starting to fall for Yokozawa.

… this was all a well-orchestrated plot to drive me into the light novels, wasn’t it?

... but it's still no substitute for a mug of hot chocolate.

More real life nonsense – I was going to write this 24 hours ago BUT my laptop was buggy (due to forced shutdowns, yes it’s my fault) so now my initial plans to post the final review for Christmas were ruined. BAH.