R-15 10: Guilty Pleasure status restored
“Senpai-tachi blasting off at the speed of light!”
“Surrender now, or prepare to participate in a completely irrelevant competition for the purposes of fanservice and possible plot advancement!”
That rhymed better in my head.
There are two principal reasons as to why the presence of a Harameki Gakuen Onsen pleases me.
First is that my suspicions have been somewhat validated – there are Geniuses for every single possible occupation.
Not just the menial ones – like the Genius Digger – and the pseudoscientific ones – like the Genius Dowser, although we’ve already had Genius exorcists who apparently do nothing but strip or get their thin garments wet.
No, the amazing thing is that we have Genius Managers who are differentiated into Genius Inn Managers and Genius Hot Spring Managers.
This is a masterstroke. This actually enforces the whole “everyone is special” anvilicious moral without actually saying it. No, really, I’m actually filled with awe. I just don’t know whether it’s because it’s ridiculously simple or incredibly brilliant.
Second is glorious Tsukuru-chan hot steamy onsen action.
This is the episode that will make the uncensored Blu-Rays all worth it.
Because once I get my hands on the uncensored episodes I expect that I will be spending at least 30 minutes on this scene in particular.
Even though this is the pretty much all the screentime Tsukuru-chan gets in this episode, it’s enough for me to declare it Best Episode of R-15.
Anyway, back to the completely irrelevant competition.
Utae-chan pretty much sweeps the whole competition from the start.
This is actually realistic. I think the Japanese pay a stupid amount of attention to their Idols. Which explains why there are so many varieties. Gravure Idols, Seiyuu Idols, AV Idols, Reality TV Idols, Cosplay Idols, Car Salesgirl Idols.
Pictured: Genius Stalker-who-drives-a-car, Genius Stalker-who-rides-a-bike, and Genius Stalker-who-specializes-in-rummaging-through-Idols’-trashcans.
The only reason why the networks in Japan don’t bother with pay-per-view or those telephone toll events is because there will always be some creepy otaku who will buy 40 of each album of their chosen
prey victim Idol.
Behold the brave souls who challenge Utae-chan’s dominance.
Genius Bug Battler, Genius Mexican Drink Mixer, and Genius Cabbage Slicer.
Oh God this is too good. There’s already a Japanese Bug Fight “gameshow”, but what we really need is a Cabbage Slicing gameshow.
I can just imagine it now. Slow-motion replays of a cleaver going through cabbage leaves, contestants cursing at the dullness of their blades, and the overexcited announcers screaming at the prowess and dexterity of Yamamoto-san who’s going through cabbages at 6.2 slices per second.
I had rather mixed feelings towards Utae-chan in this episode.
It’s not all negative, but that’s probably because unlike the last episode, she wasn’t drawn looking like a psychotic squirrel on cocaine.
Four replays of Utae-chan crying out as a cork bounces off her boobs certainly didn’t hurt either.
Hurr hurr, cork.
This is what I watch R-15 for. Not imbecilic investigations into boring, one-dimensional Newspaper Circle Chiefs.
But blatant, exploitative and hilariously politically incorrect applications of eroticism in real life situations.
Man that was a mouthful.
You know what else is a mouthful? All those moans that Ran is mouthing. With her mouth.
I’m surprised Taketo didn’t capitalize on this with a set of Schoolgirls Breathing And Moaning Into Microphones As they Pretend To Be Aroused DVDs.
That said, Taketo is a genius.
He’s even attracted the female demographic by selling them foodstuffs that could be used to entice the guys they like.
Crazy, effed-up genius.
Do note the lack of teacher supervision.
This is the blight on our education systems today. Teachers clamping down on creativity in the name of the nonsense they call morals and ethics. Teachers are the reason why we can’t have nice things.
Raika is understandably offended about the depravity of it all.
Whereas I myself am understandably upset that Raika isn’t a team player.
Elsewhere, Fukune-chan is angsting over her concert recital.
I’m torn between making fun of this and using this scene to parallel the circumstances of the girl I like.
Who pays for clarinet recitals anyway?
(I tried and failed. Move along.)
So yes, the mixed feelings about Utae-chan.
On the one hand – which is totally not hovering near, around, or anywhere in proximity to my crotch – Utae-chan is a cute girl who just wants to be loved in a normal way.
Normal way being longing gazes, awkward conversations, emotional confession behind the school cafeteria, holding hands on the way home, having premarital sex, finding out that she’s pregnant and her Idol career is now shot while her boyfriend abandons her, that sort of thing.
On the other hand Utae-chan is a shameless floozy.
Perhaps an overly harsh assessment.
But with the earlier scene in which she internally acknowledges Fukune-chan as her rival and decides to grab Taketo first (I didn’t screencap that because I’m already using too many images), and now with the deliberate, calculated display of flesh, it’s hard not to feel a little critical of her.
Then she has a “I want my beloved to be happy” moment. And then I’m feeling sympathetic for her once more.
Dammit Utae-chan, you’re a nice girl and you definitely deserve your own happy ending.
Just find another guy. Just because Taketo doesn’t think of you as an Idol doesn’t mean he’s the one for you.
Omake: from this angle and with that hairstyle, Utae-chan looks like a typical Japanese grandma.
A short while later, Newspaper Circle Chief tries to cryptically hint to Taketo that for all his porn writing genius he’s a failure at relationships in real life.
Which actually makes sense, because pornography is totally not an accurate depiction of real life.
While Utae-chan is angsting alone in a karaoke room after admitting to herself that Taketo’s only got eyes for Fukune-chan.
Dammit scriptwriters, if you can show all these scenes of Utae-chan’s despair why can’t you write up a new guy character that will actually love her properly?
And no, Raika is not an acceptable alternative. Despite all that sneaky surveillance she’s been doing this episode. I actually want Utae-chan to have a happy ending that doesn’t cater primarily to my desire to see Yuri action.
And Taketo is there to welcome Fukune-chan back after her performance.
Well, it wasn’t as if I was expecting Taketo to do anything particularly special or anything.
However, I did not expect Fukune-chan to hug him.
It was as if my heart exploded with the force of a thousand suns.
Metaphorically. Because then I wouldn’t be here to type this review and my parents would have to clean my room thoroughly before turning it into a storeroom, after all.
I’d continue the heart exploding metaphor, but a million suns just sounds silly.
(I’m actually being snarky in an attempt to keep stoic in the face of Fukune-chan’s face. It’s not working.)
Seriously though, this episode was great. Fanservice, drama, intense emotional involvement. And the art quality went back to normal – which is to say, fanservice-worthy.
It was as if last week’s episode budget was diverted to this week’s. And it was pretty worth it.
Can’t wait for next week’s R-15 now. Adorable Fukune-chan is just too damn adorable.
Today, I'm not going to tell you about how I met your mother. We'll get to that later. Today, I'm going to tell you about how I met this group of LEGENDARY folks.
I'm going to tell you about how I met your Otakus. Enjoy the ride.
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