Infinite Stratos Ep 09: Why beach episodes are obligatory
So, revelation off the bat. The reason why Shinonono Tabane has gone missing is because… She was hiding out in Star Driver!
Anyways, it looks like she wasn’t really missing since Houki knew how to contact her. Tabane reveals Houki’s new personal IS, Akatsubaki! But that is another story for another episode. With the unnecessary fluff out of the way, let’s delve into the main meat of Episode 9. BEACH TIEM.
The main aim of heroines in harem shows is singular. It is to beat down all other forms of competition and get into the pants of the main protagonist. They are allowed any means and methods within the realms of humanity and morality to do so, and one of the easiest ways, without causing any harm to oneself (except maybe one’s dignity), is to bare their skin in an effort to arouse the predatory animal that lies within all men. NO MATTER HOW DUMB THEY ARE.
That’s because it is widely rumored that there is a second brain inside the second head of any man. That secondary brain will override all functions outputted by the primary brain and cause the man to literally think with his junk. Which is why throughout the centuries, women have mercilessly exploited this well-known secret, to get whatever they want.
With that in mind, the most appropriate moment to bare skin without feeling as if you’re putting out is, surprise surprise, at a beach! That is why, it is always important for a harem show to have a beach episode, as this would be the most opportune timing for our heroines to GET NEKKID.
Let us ring the bell for battle, as we unveil our contestants of the day!
First combatant literally unveiled, Laura Bodewig. This skank, after her heart did a U-turn so sharp it inverted time and space, makes the first attack by sneaking into and sleeping in Ichika’s bed. I can’t figure out why Charlotte wouldn’t have noticed anything, unless she was moved out of the room after her gender reveal?
You might also notice that Ichika’s elbow is only a few inches away from Laura’s… nevermind.
Oho! A challenger! Shinonono Houki, and she even brought a kendo blade with her. This woman is not to be trifled with. Too bad she’s a tad late.
A weapon does not have to be conventional, like a gun, or a sword. It can be something powerful, LIKE A MINI-SKIRT. Kinda like how a mini-gun is more powerful than a gun (pistol), a mini-skirt is so much more alluring than a skirt. This is exactly what Charlotte has in her disposal, and she uses it to good effect with those long fair legs of hers.
It has no effect on a blockhead like Ichika however, given the expressions she gives as she tries to get through his thick skull. I love the line they reuse here, “Get kicked by a horse and DIE!”. It was originally uttered by Houki. Maybe Charlotte’s taking some lessons from her, in how to deal with Ichika.
Charlotte tries another attack, the Girlfriend Experience. She proposes for them to hold hands (as a form of punishment. How is holding hands with a pretty girl a punishment?). Blockhead has no hesitation, but only because he believes this would allow them to stay together and not become separated.
These two scary ladies are our final contestants, dead-eyed Rin and dead-eyed-with-a-creepy-smile Cecilia. They are not happy. Oooooh they aren’t happy at all.
Did I say they weren’t happy? Apparently when you go crazy with anger your eyes turn into squiggly circles, and half of your face turns blue.
With that, our 5 contestants have officially entered the ring. Get ready for some pure unchecked violence unleashed by our femme fatales!
Charlotte, with the daring that only the French subscribe to, sheds her clothes while Ichika is in the changing room with her. HEY HEY THIS AIN’T A PORN MOVIE OK? Ichika manages to show that he isn’t THAT big of a blockhead by impressively reciting the decimal points of PI.
The decision to show off the individualism of girls gets in the way of practicality. How can anyone wear a full-bodied mascot costume in the sweltering heat at the beach, unless there was something akin to galeforce winds billowing around? I’m looking at you, girl whose name hasn’t been mentioned much wearing a full bodied mascot suit (that reminds me of Renamon).
Speculations for Ichika not showing much interest in the girls around him: is his sister the reason? He certainly let slip an ashamed look after seeing Chifuyu in her swimsuit. What lustful thoughts ran through his head at that exact moment?
The sharp-eyed amongst you will have notice one challenger for the pants of Ichika being conspicuously missing throughout the whole beach shenanigans.
No worries for Houki fans (aka ME). She shares some screentime in the sunset with Chifuyu. Looks like Tabane hasn’t really disappeared from the face of Earth, as Chifuyu is also able to call her. It seems like the next day, 7th of Juy, is a special enough date for Tabane to show up somehow. Oooo plot.
Oh and, an attempt at plot. Albeit 9 episodes too late. Maybe it hints at a sequel?
Ichika bumps into Redhead at the mall earlier, and it looks like she’s enrolling in IS Academy as well.
Episode 09 is a classic example of PWP (Plot? What Plot?) that johnnyyandere highlighted in his previous post. Absolutely nothing happens in the entirety of 24 minutes, except maybe the revelation of Tabane to the audience. I wouldn’t put up much of a complaint though, who doesn’t like seeing girls clad in swimsuits?
…But they’re cartoon girls. I’m going to go cry in a corner now.